Appa’s pillars are no more

 

Both of them would be 83 years old this year. They were Appa's (my Dad's) closest support system that worried for his well-being and he knew that.

My Mom(Amma) would chide Appa all the time, even for the littlest things, like his forgetfulness. When she wasn't chiding him, or he wasn't responding, it felt like a gloomy day at our home. I think Appa believed Amma was doing it for his good, and he'd always follow her advice though sometimes begrudgingly. An unexpected delay from his outing would have her concerned and on the phone.

My Appa's younger brother, "MSP" as Appa referred to him in 3rd person, or Purushottama in first-person, was Appa's life-breath. In his weakest moments Purushottama always on Appa's lips, first thing waking up.  When Purushottama hurt, Appa was in pain, and he'd not sit around. He’d strive to do something about it, finding solutions that Purushottama would follow. Since April 2022, Appa's been on a mission to find a way to help MSP recover from his illness. He found a new purpose when Purushottama moved close to him in Nerul.

Between Amma’s care, concern for Purushottama, our Appa has had a purpose; especially these last year. In their passing this purpose has been taken away, it’s a void. All of them taught me a lot. I have 2 jousting emotions - on the one hand sad on Appa's new loneliness; and the other side of me is waiting for new lessons from Appa. Lifelong Appa's found ways through a variety of issues; this is not limited to my adult life with him - others include Chittappa, Amma, my Paati (Grandmother) have recounted various situations that Appa's navigated the family to safety. Appa, counting on your positivity and the village around us to get through this phase.